March 29, 2004

A True Story of What Was

Once upon a time a girl met a boy. They really never should have met at all, but they did. The girl wasn't sure about anything, she only knew she liked this boy a lot and when he kissed her she kissed him back.

Letters and packages and phone calls and emails flew from one end of the country to the other. Visits were made, more kisses were had. He loved her and she loved him back.

He told her he wanted to be with her forever, and she imagined a life with him and liked what she saw. She had been so hurt in the past, but with him she wasn't frightened. She opened up her heart to him and believed his words. He was happy and she was happy too.

He wanted to be closer to her. She helped him find a place and set a few things up for him there to make him more comfortable. Arrangements were made, a date was set. She went to go fetch him and held his hand as the plane took off. She kissed him and told him that she loved him.

But now that he was with her he didn't want to be with her. He told her on the phone a week after his move. She screamed and cried and begged. But he had changed and hadn't bothered to take her with him.

She should be over it by now, but she tries not to be too hard on herself. Her feelings were real and deep and are not so carelessly tossed aside. She tries to believe she ever meant anything to him and curses him for being so reckless with her heart. Too many things still remind her of him.

Sometimes she would rather forget it all, pretend like it never happened, but in the end she stubbornly clings to her memories. Cab rides, holding hands on the street, promises, looking deep into his eyes, his arms around her, anticipation, tangled limbs, love spoken low. Things she will hold in her heart forever. She wonders if he remembers any of it. They really happened. She didn't make them up.

In her calmer moments she is able to see how brave she was and to feel no regrets. She is glad to be friends with him now.

She just looks forward to the day when the remembering doesn't hurt so much.

Posted by nightfall at March 29, 2004 08:10 PM